Monkey update

 [stef]

This past month has gone by very quickly, and I keep hearing over and over from people, "Look how big he's getting!"
Sniff
I certainly don't miss the brand spankin' newborn days, but I guess it just reminds me that he's only going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and before I know it, he won't want mommy cuddles and won't let me  walk him to school or talk to him in front of his friends. And he's only four and a half months old! Ha!
Hudson is growing and changing all the time, and it's always to my delight. His favorite new thing is basically sticking whatever is closest and most grab-able into his mouth. I don't know if this is the first stage of teething, or if this is just a phase he's going through, now that he can make purposeful movements with his hands.

He loves music, and I don't care if I have to listen to "Pop Goes the Weasel" and "If You're Happy and You Know It" on a loop ten times a day, if it keeps him occupied, then yay! He's not always wonderful at independent play, so if I simply can't tote him around in my pouch sling anymore, then I'll put him on his mat or exersaucer, and attempt to keep him occupied that way for awhile.

So far, he's quite a little people person. I took him to a shower that my co-workers had for me the other day, and he was happy to be passed around, curious to see who's hair he could pull next, and even gave out a few smiles.

He had his first real cold about a week and a half ago. Not just the sniffles - fevers, crying, losing his voice, coughing so hard he was spitting up all the time, unable to sleep because of said cough, laboured breathing at night (and then when I couldn't hear him breathe, I would get up just to watch his little chest rise and fall a few times before I could attempt sleep again). And then he had his typical gas in the midst of it, so the circuit would run: nurse, cry, attempt to give gripe water, cry harder, cough because of crying, spit up gripe water because of coughing, still crying because still hungry but still has gas that won't go away. And over and over in a loop. It was after several hours of this (and a couple nights with little to no sleep), that I said to Ty, "I can't do this. I'm not cut out to be a mother."
To which he replied, "Stef, you're doing such a good job. I would last about half an hour at it, then I would give up and go find a ditch to lay down in."
Which made me feel a little better.
I guess I tend to be a little overdramatic when I'm tired and have just had enough. And when the moment's over, and I look back on it and see that everyone has survived, I think, "Ok, well that wasn't so bad", and we all just move on. Honestly, I've had several of these moments over the past 4 months, and I know there are so many more challenges to come, so I guess I better buckle up for what the future has to hold.

Ooh, as I was typing this, Hudson was standing on my lap, and one of his drool-covered hands slipped out of mine and he banged his head on the computer desk (don't worry, he's fine!). I guess it's baby's first goose egg now too...

His naps and sleeping have improved a little. A few times for naps, he's fallen asleep on his own (and without a swaddle!), but the other day, I purposefully put him down, hoping he would do the same, but after a half an hour of straight crying, I gave up. I'm finding it a challenge to know whether or not it's the right time to start letting him cry it out, phasing out the swaddle, etc. "They" say that between 4-6 months is when babies needs change, and things start to turn into habits. It didn't resonate with me to make Hudson "cry it out" during at least the first 3 months of his life, but now I want to figure out the right time to start letting him figure out a few things himself. I want to do this the right way though, meeting his needs without him being completely dependent on me for every little thing well into the toddler stage. I've been doing alot of reading on the subject, and most "experts" (sorry for all the quotes around words) seem to think around the 5-6 month mark is a good time for sleep training, so I know I have a bit of time.  I just really want to do the best thing for us!

Napping in his bouncer

Sidenote: I will be spending the next three weeks packing up the apartment (more on this later), so I'd appreciate prayers for energy and efficiency in the next while, as Hudson still has a pretty demanding feeding/cuddling schedule. Or, if you're not the prayin' type, feel free to knock on the door and conk me over the head, rendering me unconscious for exactly 3 1/2 weeks, so that I may wake up in BC for Christmas, with all my packing and moving done, and all my important decisions made for me. Someone? Anyone?

Our little model!

Living up to his shirt - being a little monkey!